About us
We were living in Arnprior, Ontario when Jennifer was conceived. Teenagers, very much in love, in our last year of High School. I was planning to attend Algonquin College to study Electronics and Marianne had interests in Dental Assisting. Marianne had a younger sister and an older brother and her mother was alone to raise them. They had immigrated from Holland in 1956 and moved to Arnprior to join Marianne’s grandparents.
I was born in Arnprior and lived with my parents, my older sister and a younger brother.
Marianne and I met in 1965 and were high school sweethearts. We were inseparable all through High School. When it became evident that we were pregnant we tried to hide it, of course. The time did come, however, that we felt it was necessary to tell our parents what had happened. Marianne’s mother blamed me and my parents blamed her for tempting me and me for giving in.
Marianne was sent away on a “vacation with relatives” to the Victor Home for unwed mothers on 1102 Broadview Ave in Toronto, Ontario. She was referred to the home by Dr. C. Parsons (94 Guestville Avenue, Toronto) through the Renfrew County Children’s Aid Society by a Mrs. Tam. The CAS worker in Toronto was Miss Fraser.
I was banned from ever seeing her again. If it wasn’t for the loyalty and kind heart of Marianne’s sister I have no idea what the outcome would have been. She would bring me news of where Marianne was and how she was doing.
I finally was able to hitch hike to Toronto. A county kid in the big city, I walked from Peterbourough to Broadview to hide behind the old shed that was at the back of the Victor Home waiting to see Marianne. Her friend finally saw me and sent her out. I think I lived behind that shed for the longest time.
Marianne and I were married in September of 1970 and are still together and very much in love. We have been blessed with two children (Lara’s full sister and brother) and 5 grandchildren.
Finding our daughter and getting to meet her would complete everything.
Please honour the life and death of your Jennifer in a dignified manner, because she deserves it. She does not deserve to be splayed across the internet, she needs to be loved and remembered in your hearts.
I wanted to reply to you through the email you used to post but, of course, it is not a real email address. Instead I am posting your reply here. If you would like to email me, please do and then I can remove my reply here and talk to you privately.
My reply to your comment was as folllows.
Thank you for your comment. Really, I couldn’t agree with you more but circumstances prevent me from doing that yet. Because I (we) were locked out by her adoptive family I still don’t have the image of Lara to remember her in my heart. Everything I have of her short life comes from the sketchy memories of her neighborhood friends and neighbors. Mind you, i cherish anything anyone has to say about her but I am missing all those little things that only her family could share. I have a few pictures that are so bad that hours of restoration bring little results. I have the radio show that Marilyn participated in where I hear her talking of Lara. Deserve it or not there is that huge void that can only be filled by sharing, and it looks like that may never happen.
If I need to keep my search live in order to talk to her teachers or doctors or other classmates and to visit her resting place then that is what I have to do for now. I don’t have a good photo of Lara so I have commissioned a painting, I would much prefer the photo everyone else I talk to has seen and commented on. Lara’s extended biological family will all honor her in some way this year. I still shed tears whenever I speak of her. So yes she is loved.
Short answer is that someday I will be satisfied that ” Jennifer ” will be at her other home and then I can make it private and honourable.
Once again thanks for your words
I am coming up my 47th birthday born September 7th 1965 born in ‘Toronto’ as a baby girl to ‘unknown’ parentage. I only know my mother was ‘ English’ and excelled at art and music and my father was Irish. My mother’s maiden name (and my given name) was revealed to me just prior to the death of my beloved adopted parents. I grew up with the truth and knowledge of being ‘a chosen child’. As long as my adopted parents were alive, I had no inkling to wrest my identity from any other family but by those who guided me in life. My chosen mother passed away June 08 2006 and my chosen father passed away November 11th 2009. My chosen family gave over the life of my Uncle Hughie Michael McKeon (Dad’s oldest brother) to the Normandy Landings of WWII in France which forever sealed my precious thanks for those who brought us the freedoms we now enjoy, including the choice to find our heritage. This brought my focus and interest into history and what our ancestors brought to who we are today. I have searched deeply into my Uncle’s history and proudly found he died serving our Canada and forever rests in honoured memory in Bretteville Sur Laize Canadian War Cemetery France. It all started with a picture of a handsome gentleman on my Aunts farmhouse wall of a military figure ‘no one spoke about’. He was killed closing the Falaise Gap in Normandy France August 15th 1944. His loss was so profound, family chose to not speak his name forever more until I demanded to know of his sacrifice. My point being… for whatever we try to hide, the hurt we try to cover, the ‘mistakes’ to overlook… there is someone who searches for the truth and deserves to be told the truth. As an ‘adoptee’, I understand the strict privacy one strives for to maintain our grip on a chosen child as that was the focus of my own chosen mother. She begged me to never open ‘private papers’ referring to my adotion until she is gone. I see both sides of this story,… I give you kuddos sir for being such a father in every sense of the word to truly get to know the child you gave up. A father’s perspective is an amazing one to say the least. As for Lara’s chosen family…your gift of unconditional love, support, and absolute loyalty goes beyond any understanding, I know, I was the grateful child of such an amazing loving family and there is no equal to my beloved chosen family of brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, Mum, Dad… there is no equal and NOTHING, but nothing will everrr, ever replace that bond. We simply ask for knowledge on matters others take absolute forgranted. There is no ‘replacing’, just simple questions to answer a meaning to our very proud past. There is a poem called ‘The Legacy of An Adopted Child’, please venture to read this very amazing poem. There is no equal between our biological and chosen family. We are who we are today because we were the product of love from all.
Dear Lara’s sister;
I can’t think of a more loving heartfelt way to honour the life and death of a precious child such as Jennifer. Being ‘splayed’ across the internet is not what I see. Because of the freedoms well fought for we can all learn to come together to gain hope and release in past pain. As a result of this introduction to Lara, I (an adoptee) have learned that biological father’s do care. I also see the primal love an adoptive family feel for their chosen child. My mother always told me I was special because I was chosen. It wasn’t until I was older could I truly appreciate the depth this statement really means. Your closure in ranks tells me the fear you have in sharing your beautiful Lara’s message to all. Lara was so very fortunate to have to care so richly in her being, in sickness and in health. There is a very special place for those of us who are adopted and fall into the loving arms of those who promise to take on our care, love, and needs so we never have to feel the starkness of abandonment. There is no match for that. Love should be multiplied not divided. You multiplied the love by sharing Lara with other’s who were in a position to further her nurturing. I thank you for sharing Lara’s story with us all, so we can all be one.
Legacy of an Adopted Child
Once there were two women who never knew each other..
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives, shaped to make Your one…
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up … that’s all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me, through your fears,
the age old question unanswered throughout the years…
Heredity or environment .. Which are you the product of..
Neither, my darling .. neither..
just two different kinds of love.